Simon Says

A collection of Simonisms

Jun 20, 2016

Spiders...

Simon: There are more spiders in this house now there is one in the video game room!

Me: …

Simon: Well, I’m not sure if it was a spider or a bug because I was too scared to stand there and count the legs.

Me: You mean an insect?

Simon: Yes, an insect. But there are some insects that can kill you too.

Me: You are not going to die from an insect bite in central Ohio. Maybe in the jungles of South America you might.

Simon: How about the jungles of Brazil?

Me: Brazil is in South America.

Simon: How come they call it South America if they don’t speak Amer… I mean if they don’t speak English there?

Me: Why do they call us America, because we do speak English? Where did English come from?

Simon: England.

Me: So why don’t they just call us England Junior?

Simon: Because that would be a stupid a name for a country.

Me: How about West England?

Simon: I think there is a West England already.

Me: Hmmmm… Maybe West London.

Simon: So anyway, would you come get this spider out of the video game room?